Genuis:It’s in our NDA!

Faithful readers, we have been silent, some might say dumbstruck, others perhaps nonplussed. Whatever you call it we are all in it together and it is broken.

The committee has been meeting and even self organizing outside of meetings to set the course as best we can to weather the storm of unabashed public displays of genuis. How shall we award our trophy when the random thinkers and the accidental millionaires no longer need the math to work?

How shall they continue to entertain the desires of the struggling masses yearning to be free?

Yearning is not our problem, and we don’t give awards for it either. Do the math. If you would like to compete in the current round, don’t do the math, just write debt swaps on your crib notes.

And so we are asked, who is the budding Genuis that captures the zeitgeist right now? We were considering Reverend Wright for his clever scheme to get Obama elected. Nobody inspires like a crusty preacher. Fire and brimstone. Even Bill Ayers got away from that. We heard the sermon. We voted for Obama.

We were planning a gala ceremony alongside the inauguration, maybe playing Reverend Wright sermons while Men of Pou-Hana was playing at the inauguration parade.

Reverend Wright has not answered our calls for donations to our tip jar, and I think we both know what that means. If he can’t spring for the hosting fees, we can’t give him the award. He lives in Illinois. He’s got to play by the rules.

Breaking economic news is pushing all that to the background. We’re told we just went broke by the guy who told us to borrow the money to buy the house. Now we find out that Alan Greenspan was channelling Ayn Rand all that time and if you are yearning right now maybe you only read the cliff notes?

So we think Greenspan, and he bears a slight resemblance to the baboon who won last year’s award for inspiring Robert Sapolski. Greenspan inspired Joe the Plunger to hock his ass and buy the plumbing business, license or not. Joe got the glad hand and he was out the door. Sorry Joe, no award. You just got punk’d by Alan Greenspan.

So we like Greenspan’s chances going into the playoffs. Still no reply to our tip jar solicitation though, and he can afford it. What are the odds he tells us to get the vigorish from Joe? TARP is all about funding the recovery. Come on Alan, spring for the award. The sooner we rehabilitate you, the sooner we can blow up that next bubble.

Hank Paulson is third along the rail behind Alan right now, Ben Bernanke swung wide at the turn and appears to be trying to strangle Greenspan’s horse. Not bad riding for a Princeton kid. A mob of Merrill Lynch brokers is being egged on by a coterie of Lehman brothers brokers in the grandstand, and they appear to be chanting something that sounds like “we know where you live” at the troika on the track.

So politics may be taking a backseat to fuzzy math this year. Yearn in peace while we deliberate with an eye on the tip jar. Alan Greenspan, white courtesy telephone. Accept this award. There may never be a greater display of Genuis, and it’s time for the baboon to move on with his life. We’re pulling for you, if only because we’d like to think nobody can screw it up any worse right now. You’ve set the bar pretty low.

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